BiPap Machine and The Stroke Diagnosis

Clarifying what Ron was Thinking

Looking back at the last post, I talked a lot about what I was doing and how I was feeling. This is because I didn’t know how Ron was doing or how he was feeling. The few FaceTime calls I had with him were from across the room, which show up very small of a cell phone. He was unable to talk at all because he was drugged, restrained and eventually placed on a BiPap Machine.

I didn’t know he had suffered a stroke at that time, but I knew something was deathly wrong besides just having COVID pneumonia. Talking to him now, he says he wasn’t able to speak or move and he didn’t understand why. He was scared, alone and felt like he was going crazy because he couldn’t figure out what was going on around him. Happily, he did know who I was and tried to communicate when he heard my voice. He did clearly communicate that he wanted to go home.

The Statement that Sent me to my Knees

I also left out one detail that I think is important to go back and tell you about. On the 17th, when I said I cried out to Jesus in a way that still haunts me to this day, I had talked to one of the Intensive Care doctors. He explained a lot to me that no one else had regarding how the Delta variant effected the lungs and why Ron was struggling so much.

The doctor told me the situation was very serious before he the stroke diagnosis. I asked him how long it would take for Ron to recover and his response is what induced my cry out to the Lord. “If he improves at all, it will take weeks maybe months. Right now, we aren’t even sure he will make it through the night.” My world closed in on me. This man has been my partner, friend, love of my life for 32 years. I didn’t understand how this could be happening.

Conversation with the Hospital Supervisor

Continuing on, the phone call I had with Donald, the hospital supervisor was around 11am on August 18, 2021. I knew when I talked to him that Nurse Brad was reluctant to allow the CT Scan or MRI because he felt it was too invasive. He said that Ron would have to go on a breathing machine called a BiPap, which he wanted to avoid. It wasn’t a ventilator that required intubation, so I had a hard time understanding him. Apparently Donald didn’t agree with Brad because it didn’t take the whole day for the next call to come.

FaceTime Update on CT Scan

About an hour after my call with Donald, Nurse Sarah called to tell me that Ron was awake. She said he was feeling nauseated and had received anti-nausea medicine. He was still causing a fuss and was taking his oxygen off, complaining that he wanted to go home. Sarah let me know that a CT Scan had been ordered and they were preparing to take him down for the test right away. The BiPap machine was on the way. Once installed, the CT Scan would be performed. I was to expect an update as soon as he returned to the room from the test, which was expected to be an hour or so.

Finally, a Neurology Consult was Scheduled

In addition to the CT Scan, a Neuro consult was to take place sometime during the day. This was scheduled because of the mentation change that had occurred. Why it took so long to call in a neurologist was never explained to me. Even without the sedation, Ron remained quite sleepy, which wasn’t normal. Blood tests were ordered to see if his ammonia levels were causing him to be lethargic. In my estimation, this was caused by the stroke.

Why the medical staff didn’t add all of these signs up and figure it out is beyond me. Unless they did but weren’t saying. Sarah gave me the test results that were far less than good. His body chemistry was so far off from normal, they were very concerned that he was much more ill than they realized. I was told that he was in a very fragile state that may require a ventilator.

My First Look at the BiPap

About twenty minutes after that FaceTime conversation with Nurse Sarah, she called again. This FaceTime was my first glimpse of Ron with the BiPap machine. To say this shocked me would be an understatement. How did we get here? That was my husband whom I dropped off at the ER a week before and he walked in under his own power. That was not the man I was looking at now.

As we were talking, the ICU doctor walked into the screen and stood at the head of the bed next to Ron. I had spoken to her on a couple of calls before and had already developed a dislike for her. Her demeanor during this conversation did not match the severity of what she was about to tell me. With a smile and some behavior that bordered on giddiness, she said “Mrs. Loveless, you were right! Something is wrong with your husband.” My distaste for her grew at warp speed and I felt the anger climb my neck to my face as I turned red.

I said “well, what is it?” What came out of that woman’s mouth was devastating and unbelievable. But, she didn’t stop at delivering me the worst blow I have every received. By the time she was finished talking, the “stay calm” part of what my friend told me was out the window and my mouth was outrunning any sense I had left.

Explanation of COVID Stroke Risk

“Your husband has had a stroke. He developed a blood clot in his leg and it traveled to his brain. Blood clots are quite common with COVID because it has a coagulating effect on the blood. So, we are not surprised by his condition.” Wait, what? WHAT? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? My mind was racing, but not as fast as my mouth.

If it is common, why didn’t you realize he was having a stroke when it happened? If it is common, what were you doing to prevent the clot? Were you watching him for signs of a stroke? Were you watching him at all? Do you even know the signs of a stroke? What kind of podunk backwards uneducated medical facility is this? I want my husband transferred to the Neuro ICU at Kennestone Hospital NOW! AGAIN, I raise my petition to get in the room to give him bedside care because it is obvious that NO ONE there is giving the care he needs.

She stood, looking into the camera at me for a few beats. “Mrs. Loveless, getting upset like that doesn’t help the situation.” I was so angry. The room was spinning around me. I could feel my stomach turning inside out and I knew I was going to scream. I spoke to Nurse Sarah and told her I was going to hang up now and would appreciate it if she would follow up with me after I had some time to process everything I had just learned. She was visibly emotional and said she would call me back shortly.

The Call Finally Came…I WAS IN!

At 2:37 pm, Nurse Sarah called. She had spoken to Donald, the Hospital Supervisor who then spoke to the Director of Administration and raised my petition to be bedside care in Ron’s room. There were substantial conditions I had to agree with, but I was going to be allowed in the room. I got in. I GOT IN!!!!

Suddenly, I had to get Ready to Go

Surely, I must have looked like a chicken with it’s head cut off. If you’ve never seen that, imagine a chicken with no head running around in circles all over the place with no destination in mind. Only, I didn’t drop dead like the chicken is supposed to. Dave and I hugged and cried. I got busy packing a bag with everything I thought I might need for the next few days or so. My work stuff was included, because I did still have to take care of my clients even though I would be quarantined to a hospital room.

Possibly the Most Important Drive of My Life

I drove to that hospital at warp speed, waddled into the ER with bags in tow that looked like I was about to embark on a cruise and went up to the plexiglass window with the little round hole. The woman looking up at me asked what I needed. I pronounced with enthusiasm “I am Patti Loveless and I have permission to be in my husband’s hospital room.” She said “Mrs. Loveless, we have been expecting you! Let me call and tell them you are here.”

I snickered to myself a little thinking that I bet she did know I was on the way. Security was sitting at the desk next to her and I wondered if that was normal or just for me. I knew better than to show my tail though. The objective had been met and I was a few hallways away from getting to see my husband for the first time in a week. I wasn’t going to mess this up. So, I was sweet as pie to everyone. Yes, everyone!

The Eerie Walk to Ron’s Room

Nurse Sarah met me at a set of wooden double doors where we took the elevators up one floor then entered another set of wooden double doors. It was a strange walk. I had been in hospital many times over the years and they were well lit. The whole way to the ICU where Ron’s room was had all of the optional lighting turned off. Everything was dim, relatively dark and eerie.

We stopped in the hallway where Nurse Sarah and another nurse dressed me in a full body surgical gown and N95 mask. I signed some papers promising all of my rights and my first born. They gave me verbal instructions that I would not be allowed to leave the room for any reason and I had to keep the protective gear on at all times. I agreed to everything. After all, my first born is plenty capable of taking care of herself. She was cheering me on from South Dakota too.

I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer and walked into the room where my husband lay in the hospital bed, completely unclothed with an alien strapped to his face. What in the world was going on? He had a male nurse who was pleasant and explained to me that he wouldn’t keep on a gown or a sheet, the machine was worse than it looked and the noises it was making were completely normal. He promised to teach me all about it because it was now my duty to make sure Ron kept is sucked to his face in the right position as he fought to remove it every five seconds.

Seeing Each Other for the First Time in 7 Days

I spoke “Hi Honey, I finally got here. I have been fighting to see you for days.” You know the way a newborn turns and opens their eyes when their mommy or daddy speaks to them for the first time after birth? That is exactly what Ron did. His eyes were groggy and lazy. His movements were slow and uncoordinated. He was making groaning sounds between the chest convulsions the machine caused.

The gravity of his condition felt like a truckload of bricks on my chest. Though it was difficult to understand, he spoke back to me. “Where have you been?” BiPap breath. “I have been,” Bipap breath. “Waiting on you.” Bipap breath. I stood at the bottom of his bed taking it all in, crushed and so sorry for what he was going through. Tears filled my eyes and rolled down my face as he too began to cry. What in the world was I going to be able to do to help him?