The Hospital Stay: Fighting for His Life

Reading over my notes from the initial hospital stay, Ron’s medical file and looking at the photos has been gut wrenching. This morning, I noticed that he was reading the blog I posted yesterday. I asked him what he thought. He said it both helps him and bothers him. He has difficulty remembering the timeline of things that happened. Plus, it is hard for him to read about what I went through.

Both are understandable because he was not cognitively well, yet he was fighting just to stay alive. I have put a lot of thought into being so open and sharing so much detail. I decided that I want to tell our story of illness, stroke and recovery as openly and honestly as I can. Afterall, let’s face it, some things we go through just aren’t pretty or fun. It is evident that Ron is a fighter and he is fighting with all he has to rehabilitate and recover. I am by his side the whole way.

August 17, 2021

The morning started off with a failed attempt to talk to the nightshift nurse again before he got off shift. I was mad at myself and worried that Ron would have the same day nurse from yesterday. However, my initial call was returned by the sweetest nurse. She was compassionate and did a great job of keeping me calm while explaining that Ron had a rough night and had been moved to ICU. He was still in the same room but the ICU staff were overseeing his care now. Apparently, Ron was combative overnight so he remained sedated. They wanted to run some tests but were going to wait until the next day. I didn’t understand that at the time. Looking back, I am almost certain they knew something was wrong because they wanted to do a CT Scan or MRI.

A Good Wednesday to go to Battle

I’m not medically trained, but that sounds to me like someone should have thought to do a little more diagnosing. I requested that they go ahead with the CT Scan or MRI. The sweet nurse told me she would make my request known to the Supervising Nurse Practitioner. Then, I told her that I wanted to raise my petition again to be bedside care and assist in providing a higher standard of care during Ron’s hospital stay. Those were the words my friend told me to say. Again, I was denied. But, she didn’t like denying me and told me not to give up. That small kindness gave me a little bit of hope and it carried me through the tough day ahead. When I say tough day, I mean it was a battle.

Supervisor with an Attitude

The Supervising Nurse Practitioner called me later in the morning. I will call him Brad. He was rude and brash. I know he was under a lot of pressure and strain. Every patient they were caring for was deathly ill with COVID. But, I was having none of Brad’s nonsense rudeness. I demanded that Ron have an MRI or CT Scan immediately. Brad told me it was “too invasive” for him at the time. That didn’t make sense because Ron had a mentation change, was confused and combative and couldn’t eat or get up to use the bathroom. He was on oxygen, but only by a nose canula at this time. So, what was preventing him from having the tests?

Updates and Denials

The sweet nurse needs a name, so I am going to call her Sarah. Sarah facetimed me and was visibly concerned and supportive of my attempts to get into that hospital room. Obviously, she could not verbalize how she felt for fear of getting reprimanded or fired. Her morning report on Ron’s hospital stay was better than what I heard the day before. He was stable, relaxed and calm for the moment though he was still very sick. His vitals were good, though he was still on a high level of oxygen support. Sarah’s report only fueled my determination for the tests to be run. I requested to facetime with Ron and she set up a time to call me back so she could facilitate.

Something is Very Wrong with this FaceTime

The second Ron appeared on my phone, I told Sarah “something is wrong with him. Something bad!” She tried to explain it away by saying he was sedated. I knew like I know my own name that the condition I was seeing him in was not from being sedated. He looked limp, unable to lift his head and barely able to open his eyes. He tried to talk but was not able to make a coherent statement.

My heart broke and my stomach felt sick. I was probably yelling into the phone as I told her I wanted to see him “RIGHT NOW!” Sarah sorrowfully denied me. She said she would be in the room with him all day. I was to expect her to call me with updates throughout the day. Well, I can tell you one thing, I was not waiting on her updates. I was sorely dissatisfied and on a warpath.

Ask Questions and Obtain a Medical Advocate

I called my friend again, giving her the newest report and latest denial of entry. When I told her I requested and was denied the CT Scan or MRI, she was livid. There were several things she told me to do. Firstly, I was to use the information I gathered on the hospital administration and start calling people. Secondly, I was to call those people every thirty minutes until I had a satisfactory conversation with someone besides the care staff. Thirdly, I was to let them know I was watching by asking a set of detailed questions about certain test results, organ function, retesting schedules and a lot of why’s. Then, she suggested I consult with another medical professional I will call Trey. Which I did and he became my Medical Advocate. Boy, was that a great decision.

We had Someone on our Side and He was a God Send

Over the next few hours, I received updates from Sarah. They tried to reduce Ron’s sedation but he became restless, so they had to keep him sedated. During this time, I was getting conflicting reports from Sarah and Brad. So, I requested that Sarah add Trey to Ron’s chart so he could access all of the medical details he needed. Though the decision to include him was not met with warm appreciation, Sarah acknowledged it was a smart thing to do.

Not only was Trey medically trained, he knew the ins and outs of hospital administration and procedures for a patient’s hospital stay. Therefore, he was able to explain the medical terms and chart notes to me. He also began to advocate for me to get into Ron’s room as bedside care. I honestly believe that Ron may not have made it through all of this if it had not been for Trey. I will share more of his involvement as I tell more of our story. But, right now I will tell you that he was so good to us. I saw him recently for the first time in three years and I broke down in tears right in the middle of a restaurant. I am thankful to this day for his help.

The Terrible Detail I didn’t Mention

Ron had been in the hospital for 5 1/2 days at this point. What a roller coaster of a ride it had been too. I left out a tidbit of information. Probably because I just don’t want to acknowledge it, much less think about it. But here we go. Just after midnight on August 13, the day after Ron checked into the ER , Ron’s mom had a massive heart attach and passed away. In addition to our concern for him, our family was now reeling with the loss. I had no idea how I was going to tell him either. I wrestled with not telling him at all until I knew he was out of the woods.

Time to Get to Work Getting into that Hospital Room

August 17th was a very long day. By the time Trey got involved, it was midday. There was still a lot to do. It was time for me to focus on researching the hospital so I could start making calls. I was going to get into that hospital, even if it meant I had to go to jail for doing it. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but it was going to be something. Sitting at home with my hands tied just wasn’t going to work for me anymore. I will tell you more about that and more details of the ups and downs of Ron’s hospital stay next time.